prince charming?

I jumped in to a convo some guys at work the other night were having about women.  I think they were complaining, actually.  Apparently we've been feed Disney fairy tales and chick flicks since we came out of the womb and have this skewed view about our expectations for the perfect guy.  My response to them was, "Well, yeah, I figured out over time that most guys, even the decent ones are assholes."  And I really believed that when I said it, and they agreed with me.  But then my buddy Drew brought up the point that they aren't necessarily assholes, it's just that women are sensitive to things that men necessarily aren't and both sexes have expectations that differ from one another.  And we talked about it for a while, but by the time I left work I  wanted to cry.  I have been hurt by a guy or two in my life, but I also know that it IS true about Disney fairy stories, they are in fact FICTIONAL.  At the same time I felt discouraged because I WANT to believe that there is a wonderful man of God who is passionate about the kingdom and helping people who also happens to think I'm amazing, beautiful, and is desperately in love with me.  I want him to treat me just like my brother or dad or incredible guy friends I have would treat me-even better.  I want to be pursued, swept off my feet, and ride off into the sunset (or ministry field).  I want those things.  But I know that guys can just be really stupid sometimes.  Or maybe women just expect men to be mind readers.  I don't know..
I was driving home and praying/crying to Jesus and I just was like, "Is it true?  Is it really really true?  Are they all really assholes?  Will I always get hurt by these stupid men?  Am I doomed to a life filled with loneliness (I am happy in life, but I would be lying or a cyborg if I said that I wasn't lonely A LOT...after a while you just learn to be content with things....) or am I just a silly girl to believe that there is some wonderful guy out there for me????"  I get discouraged because I KNOW that God said that it isn’t good for man to be alone, and he created Eve for Adam.  And I want to be someone’s helper outer, someone’s ezer kenegdo.  Another part of me gets discouraged because I'm GiGi from He's Just Not Into You and I just feel silly and pathetic when it comes to dating game.   And another part of me gets discouraged because I know how I am when I love someone.  I don't know how to love with anything other than my entire being.  I give myself completely and entirely...I just can't help it.  So the idea that someone wouldn't or couldn't do that for me makes me feel....sad.
And then I started thinking of my brother.  When he and his now wife were dating, they lived 6 hours away from each other.  He called her every day, he would just drop everything and drive up to see her if at any time he just HAD to, and he was just a really good boyfriend.  They have been married 5 years now and he is her best friend, he is romantic, he is caring, sensitive, a good provider, a hard worker, a man of God, the spiritual head of the house, loyal, full of integrity, strong, and they both communicate and work together to make their relationship work.  When I was at their house over Christmas, I saw in the kitchen this note he just randomly left her one day about how much he loved her and how wonderful she was.  It was just precious.  Do I think my brother is perfect?   Heck no.  Will I expect my man to be perfect?  NO.  I fully expect snoring, stinkiness, hairness, mesiness, some ego issues, and miscommunications.  But I have seen and known WAY too many good relationships, good marriages, and damn good men to fully believe that all men are asses.  I mean they just aren't...even ones that have been when they were younger.  They just need to grow into the good men they were all meant to be.  All men have the potential to be great husbands, fathers, and just GOOD men. Well, a lot of them do.  I'm never dating potential again though.

I don't expect prince charming to just show up riding a white horse and knock on my door with a bouquet of fresh flowers (honestly a stranger showing up at my door like that would freak the CRAP out of me).  But I do want someone who can be a really good friend (Laura has got some rejection issues...approach with caring sensitivity and caution) and eventually woo me with all that wonderful romantic stuff (poems, flowers, unexpected/spontaneous dates, love letters, etc...).  I want all those things and I KNOW I have issues too. Like I'm emotional.   Probably more so than the average woman.  Sometimes I experience anger, frustration, joy, ecstasy, and sadness all within minutes of eachother. I'm a fireball, and when it comes to loving Jesus, building the kingdom, and loving those who are close to me, it's a good thing. Sometimes, however,  I just get upset about really trite things. I know that me and whoever he may be will both have flaws and issues (I don't expect him to understand the waves of emotion that flow through me). But I want someone who is willing to communicate through stuff, who understands that realitionships are give-give...it's all about submitting to one another and growing together and forgiving each other when we do silly, dumb, or hurtful things.  It's about understanding and serving one another.  And being able to laugh.  A lot of laughter is so important.  I've just seen THE REAL DEAL happen for so many people and I want it too!  I really don't think there is anything wrong with that.  Lord knows I'm gonna be damn good to him so he BETTER treat me like he knows how much I'm worth!

“A good woman is worth, if she were sold, the fairest crown that's made of purest gold”
John Wodroephe

Proverbs 12:4
A wife of noble character is her husband's crown

Proverbs 31:10
A wife of noble character who can find?  She is worth far more than rubies.

Proverbs 31:30
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
Ephesians 5:22-33
Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church — for we are members of his body. "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh."[This is a profound mystery — but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

P.S. It was interesting that the men who were sitting around complaining about women were all single, and all the guys I was thinking about who are awesome "prince charmings" are in happy, committed, loving marriages.  Just sayin. 

P.P.S.  This song just popped in my head, and I think it's precious.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ptDBuNlbG0A

So is this song:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bOv3qgFFw-A

Oh and this one is just so......good. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eGKwrkCyOko

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