grace is my favorite
Written in 2008:
I've been listening to the Narnia series the past few days (I've been driving a lot...helps me stay awake...plus I never finish books, I finish audio series' though). Anyway, I know that C.S. Lewis wrote them as fictional stories, not allegory, but there's no question in my mind of the symbolism and reflection of his theology within every story. It has really helped to put into pictures and characters and conversations what faith and life and truth are all about in Christianity. I've been moved to tears, had epiphanies (yesterday was the day of Epiphany), and felt inspired and empowered. I HIGHLY recommend these books to you.
Truth has been on my mind. And God. And Jesus. I mean, how is it possible to really know God? And how can I know that what I have come to believe growing up in rural conservative America is the actual truest truth? Is Christianity really the truth? Why is there evil in the world? If God is really good, sovreign, loving, why do horrible etrocities happen every day? Don't satan and the "really bad people" deserve grace and forgiveness too? Do love and justice have to coexist? Why did God give the Bible to some people and not to others? What were the Native Americans, The Chinese, The Aboriginies, The Hindus, the rest of the world doing when Jesus was on earth? Why didn't He go to them? Why do some people follow other gods and feel completely and entirely convinced that their god or their belief or reincarnation or heaven or hell is the reality? If God is good, wouldn't He reveal himself to all the people that have ever existed and not just some?
I know that many an intelligent, critically-thinking, reflective, enlightened individual has thought and philosophized and theologized on the answers to these questions. People have dedicated their lives to the mystery.
Thinking about these things makes me panic. Makes me uneasy. Makes me nervous and insecure and afraid. Afraid that what I've believed or what I try to figure out will inevitably be wrong. And I won't sound as intelligent as some people who write about these things. And there will be some logical error in the way I present my case, my argument, my theology. There will always be a hole, a crack somewhere either in the foundation or the frame that will make the entire thing crumble. In every argument anyone can argue something that opposes or proves the initial argument to be untrue.
So what does this mean for religion, in matters of God and his existence and the order of the universe and Christianity, Buddhism, Islam, Judaism, Hinduism, Scientology, Spiritualism, and all the other systems of belief that have existed as long as man has existed? What should we believe? And what happens if we believe the wrong thing? What are the consequences?
I fully recognize that these questions are important. I fully recognize the possiblity that any given person could believe the wrong thing. I know that there are one hundred bazillion questions out there that are not answered, and most likely, never will be answered.
Here's the thing though. I still believe in the God of the Bible. I still believe that He's the creator of the universe. I believed that humankind is hopelessly flawed, born into sin, slaves to sin and in DESPERATE need of grace. And that Jesus came and lived a life of humility, love, peace, wisdom and forgiveness. And died on a cross and rose again so that we (the world) would be able to receive that grace and forgiveness. The thing about this faith is GRACE. Grace is my favorite part about it. We have the opportunity to receive grace, love, hope, peace, unselfishness from God through Christ and give that to the world. To the people around us. This is the only faith that has grace. And I realized that I don't have the answers, I will never have the answeres, and neither will anyone else no matter how educated or logical or stoic or philosophical they think they are. It's all silliness compared to grace.
Grace is the heart of this faith. A solely logical pursuit of the truth leaves no room for grace. I have heard and engaged in many a philosophical and theological conversations. And someone is always wrong. You will always in some way, shape, or form be wrong. Because you are a human. I am a human. We are all humans. The smartest people, the dumbest people. HUMAN. flawed. Imperfect. Your brain and my brain are too tiny to grasp the order of the universe. This kind of pursuit seems to me to be empty and only leaves those who engage in it imbittered, cold, frustrated, confused, and lonely. It's a perfectionist persuit. I don't think there really can be a perfect logical argument about truth though. Can there?
And honestly, normal, everyday people don't think that much about the questions philosophers and theologians think about. They're trying to figure out how to pay the bills, be fathers, mothers, sisters, brothers. Normal, everyday people carry around the scars and weight of their shortcomings, lost relationships, missed opportunities, regrets. They think about how their decisions effect the people around them. Or they think about how they are going to get ahead, make the most money, have the most stuff. Or how they got away with murder. Or how they ended up in prison. Or how they are going to get their next fix, whether it be sex or drugs or alcohol. People in third world countries, sex slaves, refugees, the homeless, don't have the luxury of asking if satan deserved hell or not. Hell is what they are living in right now, with disease, famine, and REAL oppression.
Jesus came to offer hope, life, and grace to people, normal every day people in this world. The truth is there is some goodness in this world and having a relationship with Him lets you taste a piece of it. And gives purpose. And inspires those who have much to give to those who have little. He offers grace and a chance at hope for heaven...to everyone...the good....the bad...the ugly...the poor....the rich...the philosopher....the ignorant....a place where sorrows, tears, hell, fear, disappointment, regret, unforgiveness don't exist. Only the truest things do, the things like love and wisdom and peace. Those are really the things that matter more than anything. We don't know, we can't know really how this universe exists. But in Christ we can experience and know grace that comes from God. And live in healthy relationship with those around us. Isn't life really about relationships? Love? Wisdom? Forgiveness? Peace? Grace?
I just know, I can feel it in my bones that I would not be able to love or forgive or breathe or hope or endure or smile if I didn't have Christ. If it wasn't for grace that I read and learn about in the Bible, this life would be dismal. I would be judged for every little thing. I would drown in the sorrows of emptiness, a life without real hope or real love. There would be no light. Only darkness.
Back to the Narnia series, there's an idea that's presented in the book"The Silver Chair" that I really enjoy. Basically, it goes like this: Even if God, if Christ, if heaven didn't exist, and I was living in a dream world, I choose the dream over reality. Because reality means that I'm judged by logic, I will constantly have to pursue and be right in the questions of the universe (which is impossible) there is darkness and competition and materialism and suffering and unforgiveness (one of the most destructive diseases a human can experience) and evil. The dream of Christ and grace and the hope of heaven is better than this world. And that helps me live. That frees my heart. That inspires me to give that hope, that dream, that truth to people around me, the people who experience hell all over the world. Grace does it for me. And I can't let go of Christ.
All of those questions are still lingering up in my brain somewhere, but it's as if grace calms them. Really they are fearful questions. But grace means I don't have to strive any more. I don't have to lose sleep or toss or turn or get sick over the questions no one in this life can answer. Really no one can. I don't have to be perfect in my logic. In my life. It's okay to suck. It's okay to be imperfect. And all the really ugly things that are inside of me: Grace takes care of them. Jesus washes them away and loves me and gives me hope and power to live a better life. An abundant life. Full of life and light and kindness and grace...even in the midst of this ugly life. Grace puts a little bit of the dream of heaven in my heart. It's a good dream. I will breath and drink deeply of this grace, of this dream, this hope. I don't know that there is anything better than the grace offered in Christ. It's my favorite.
I've been listening to the Narnia series the past few days (I've been driving a lot...helps me stay awake...plus I never finish books, I finish audio series' though). Anyway, I know that C.S. Lewis wrote them as fictional stories, not allegory, but there's no question in my mind of the symbolism and reflection of his theology within every story. It has really helped to put into pictures and characters and conversations what faith and life and truth are all about in Christianity. I've been moved to tears, had epiphanies (yesterday was the day of Epiphany), and felt inspired and empowered. I HIGHLY recommend these books to you.
Truth has been on my mind. And God. And Jesus. I mean, how is it possible to really know God? And how can I know that what I have come to believe growing up in rural conservative America is the actual truest truth? Is Christianity really the truth? Why is there evil in the world? If God is really good, sovreign, loving, why do horrible etrocities happen every day? Don't satan and the "really bad people" deserve grace and forgiveness too? Do love and justice have to coexist? Why did God give the Bible to some people and not to others? What were the Native Americans, The Chinese, The Aboriginies, The Hindus, the rest of the world doing when Jesus was on earth? Why didn't He go to them? Why do some people follow other gods and feel completely and entirely convinced that their god or their belief or reincarnation or heaven or hell is the reality? If God is good, wouldn't He reveal himself to all the people that have ever existed and not just some?
I know that many an intelligent, critically-thinking, reflective, enlightened individual has thought and philosophized and theologized on the answers to these questions. People have dedicated their lives to the mystery.
Thinking about these things makes me panic. Makes me uneasy. Makes me nervous and insecure and afraid. Afraid that what I've believed or what I try to figure out will inevitably be wrong. And I won't sound as intelligent as some people who write about these things. And there will be some logical error in the way I present my case, my argument, my theology. There will always be a hole, a crack somewhere either in the foundation or the frame that will make the entire thing crumble. In every argument anyone can argue something that opposes or proves the initial argument to be untrue.
So what does this mean for religion, in matters of God and his existence and the order of the universe and Christianity, Buddhism, Islam, Judaism, Hinduism, Scientology, Spiritualism, and all the other systems of belief that have existed as long as man has existed? What should we believe? And what happens if we believe the wrong thing? What are the consequences?
I fully recognize that these questions are important. I fully recognize the possiblity that any given person could believe the wrong thing. I know that there are one hundred bazillion questions out there that are not answered, and most likely, never will be answered.
Here's the thing though. I still believe in the God of the Bible. I still believe that He's the creator of the universe. I believed that humankind is hopelessly flawed, born into sin, slaves to sin and in DESPERATE need of grace. And that Jesus came and lived a life of humility, love, peace, wisdom and forgiveness. And died on a cross and rose again so that we (the world) would be able to receive that grace and forgiveness. The thing about this faith is GRACE. Grace is my favorite part about it. We have the opportunity to receive grace, love, hope, peace, unselfishness from God through Christ and give that to the world. To the people around us. This is the only faith that has grace. And I realized that I don't have the answers, I will never have the answeres, and neither will anyone else no matter how educated or logical or stoic or philosophical they think they are. It's all silliness compared to grace.
Grace is the heart of this faith. A solely logical pursuit of the truth leaves no room for grace. I have heard and engaged in many a philosophical and theological conversations. And someone is always wrong. You will always in some way, shape, or form be wrong. Because you are a human. I am a human. We are all humans. The smartest people, the dumbest people. HUMAN. flawed. Imperfect. Your brain and my brain are too tiny to grasp the order of the universe. This kind of pursuit seems to me to be empty and only leaves those who engage in it imbittered, cold, frustrated, confused, and lonely. It's a perfectionist persuit. I don't think there really can be a perfect logical argument about truth though. Can there?
And honestly, normal, everyday people don't think that much about the questions philosophers and theologians think about. They're trying to figure out how to pay the bills, be fathers, mothers, sisters, brothers. Normal, everyday people carry around the scars and weight of their shortcomings, lost relationships, missed opportunities, regrets. They think about how their decisions effect the people around them. Or they think about how they are going to get ahead, make the most money, have the most stuff. Or how they got away with murder. Or how they ended up in prison. Or how they are going to get their next fix, whether it be sex or drugs or alcohol. People in third world countries, sex slaves, refugees, the homeless, don't have the luxury of asking if satan deserved hell or not. Hell is what they are living in right now, with disease, famine, and REAL oppression.
Jesus came to offer hope, life, and grace to people, normal every day people in this world. The truth is there is some goodness in this world and having a relationship with Him lets you taste a piece of it. And gives purpose. And inspires those who have much to give to those who have little. He offers grace and a chance at hope for heaven...to everyone...the good....the bad...the ugly...the poor....the rich...the philosopher....the ignorant....a place where sorrows, tears, hell, fear, disappointment, regret, unforgiveness don't exist. Only the truest things do, the things like love and wisdom and peace. Those are really the things that matter more than anything. We don't know, we can't know really how this universe exists. But in Christ we can experience and know grace that comes from God. And live in healthy relationship with those around us. Isn't life really about relationships? Love? Wisdom? Forgiveness? Peace? Grace?
I just know, I can feel it in my bones that I would not be able to love or forgive or breathe or hope or endure or smile if I didn't have Christ. If it wasn't for grace that I read and learn about in the Bible, this life would be dismal. I would be judged for every little thing. I would drown in the sorrows of emptiness, a life without real hope or real love. There would be no light. Only darkness.
Back to the Narnia series, there's an idea that's presented in the book"The Silver Chair" that I really enjoy. Basically, it goes like this: Even if God, if Christ, if heaven didn't exist, and I was living in a dream world, I choose the dream over reality. Because reality means that I'm judged by logic, I will constantly have to pursue and be right in the questions of the universe (which is impossible) there is darkness and competition and materialism and suffering and unforgiveness (one of the most destructive diseases a human can experience) and evil. The dream of Christ and grace and the hope of heaven is better than this world. And that helps me live. That frees my heart. That inspires me to give that hope, that dream, that truth to people around me, the people who experience hell all over the world. Grace does it for me. And I can't let go of Christ.
All of those questions are still lingering up in my brain somewhere, but it's as if grace calms them. Really they are fearful questions. But grace means I don't have to strive any more. I don't have to lose sleep or toss or turn or get sick over the questions no one in this life can answer. Really no one can. I don't have to be perfect in my logic. In my life. It's okay to suck. It's okay to be imperfect. And all the really ugly things that are inside of me: Grace takes care of them. Jesus washes them away and loves me and gives me hope and power to live a better life. An abundant life. Full of life and light and kindness and grace...even in the midst of this ugly life. Grace puts a little bit of the dream of heaven in my heart. It's a good dream. I will breath and drink deeply of this grace, of this dream, this hope. I don't know that there is anything better than the grace offered in Christ. It's my favorite.
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