humble bumble
I remember the entertaining discussion I had one of my Old Testament classes at Lee surrounding the passage in Exodus where it says that Moses is the most humble man that ever lived. It's funny because a lot of people think Moses wrote the book so the irony is apparent: if Moses was truly humble, would he write it down with the intention that people in his culture would be reading it for centuries? If a person goes on and on and on about how humble they are, are they in reality a humble person? What is humility really?
I think humility is something that cannot be put on, but something that comes from within, like the fruit of the spirit. You can't wear peace for a day, but the next day be completely anxious and chaotic, just as you can't be on cloud 9 one day and completely depressed the next and claim to have joy ...these characteristics can only be produced in a heart that has truly submitted to God and received his grace, love, and forgiveness as a completely undeserving recipient. Only in time spent in the word, in prayer, and in reflection can God produce these fruits in someone. By reflection I mean sitting down and looking at Christ in his perfection and love (which we see in his word), and then taking a good, sober, hard look at yourself (a Michael Jackson song just popped in my head).
I have been reflecting so much on Philippians 2 which talks about having the attitude of Christ. He was in heaven, living in riches, having everything, but it was not beneath him to take the form of a servant and serve us: filthy, sinning, murderous, prideful people. He washed our feet, healed our wounds, gave us bread, and met the needs of our day to day life. He showed us that greatness isn't about being raised up and put on display for the world to see, but greatness was considering other people better than ourselves, serving them selflessly, making ourselves available to be used in whatever capacity we can so that his kingdom can be advanced.
Humility isn't about not thinking your awesome, or making sure people don't think that you think your awesome. True humility has nothing to do with you. When I think of a humble person, I think of Mother Teresa, who devoted her life to loving those people no one else wanted to love. Greatness to her was daily giving the love she had received to those who surrounded her. She didn't become famous until the end of her life.
My prayers this year have been that God's greatness would live in me. My pastor preached about 2010 being the standard setting year, that things God would do this year would set the standard for the rest of my life. I remember feeling that I could either choose to seek first the kingdom of God, or seek money first. I also know that throughout this year, he's been testing the extent of my devotion. It's as if he's saying, "Will you love me if I take this away...how about this...and this..." If I will love him even if I feel like all my needs aren't being met. And my answer so far is yes. Humility is realizing that it is not about you. It's not about you. It's not about you. It's about him. Your life isn't yours, it never was, it never will be, and you will always be giving it to the god you choose.
When I pray about greatness, I pray that my heart would be stretched, compassion would grow, and the reality of being a part of something bigger than myself would permeate my thoughts to the point that it's no longer about what I want, but what He wants. It's not my life, I'm a vessel to be used by him. Right now that means being available to the church he has me in. I know that God has called me there and so that means he wants to use my talents, skills, and abilities in whatever capacity possible. If they need someone to teach the kids one night, I'll do it. If Bishop asks me to sing, I'll sing. If they need me to record the phone greeting for the church, that's what I'll do. God has me here as a single woman who doesn't have the restraints that a family can bring, so my life is for ministry, not for serving my needs.
I am by no means suggesting that I have this humility thing figured out. Because I know the pride and self-indulging nature that lives in me. I am learning, growing, and continually doing everything I can to live in love with my Creator. The standard I want to be set this year is that I will be faithful to God, serving him, making myself available to him in whatever capacity, even if it's not necessarily something that I want...because my life is not my own. I pray that my mouth will not speak humility when my day-to-day actions reveal that I have no consideration for other people. One of the scariest sins is pride that thinks it is humility.
I think humility is something that cannot be put on, but something that comes from within, like the fruit of the spirit. You can't wear peace for a day, but the next day be completely anxious and chaotic, just as you can't be on cloud 9 one day and completely depressed the next and claim to have joy ...these characteristics can only be produced in a heart that has truly submitted to God and received his grace, love, and forgiveness as a completely undeserving recipient. Only in time spent in the word, in prayer, and in reflection can God produce these fruits in someone. By reflection I mean sitting down and looking at Christ in his perfection and love (which we see in his word), and then taking a good, sober, hard look at yourself (a Michael Jackson song just popped in my head).
I have been reflecting so much on Philippians 2 which talks about having the attitude of Christ. He was in heaven, living in riches, having everything, but it was not beneath him to take the form of a servant and serve us: filthy, sinning, murderous, prideful people. He washed our feet, healed our wounds, gave us bread, and met the needs of our day to day life. He showed us that greatness isn't about being raised up and put on display for the world to see, but greatness was considering other people better than ourselves, serving them selflessly, making ourselves available to be used in whatever capacity we can so that his kingdom can be advanced.
Humility isn't about not thinking your awesome, or making sure people don't think that you think your awesome. True humility has nothing to do with you. When I think of a humble person, I think of Mother Teresa, who devoted her life to loving those people no one else wanted to love. Greatness to her was daily giving the love she had received to those who surrounded her. She didn't become famous until the end of her life.
My prayers this year have been that God's greatness would live in me. My pastor preached about 2010 being the standard setting year, that things God would do this year would set the standard for the rest of my life. I remember feeling that I could either choose to seek first the kingdom of God, or seek money first. I also know that throughout this year, he's been testing the extent of my devotion. It's as if he's saying, "Will you love me if I take this away...how about this...and this..." If I will love him even if I feel like all my needs aren't being met. And my answer so far is yes. Humility is realizing that it is not about you. It's not about you. It's not about you. It's about him. Your life isn't yours, it never was, it never will be, and you will always be giving it to the god you choose.
When I pray about greatness, I pray that my heart would be stretched, compassion would grow, and the reality of being a part of something bigger than myself would permeate my thoughts to the point that it's no longer about what I want, but what He wants. It's not my life, I'm a vessel to be used by him. Right now that means being available to the church he has me in. I know that God has called me there and so that means he wants to use my talents, skills, and abilities in whatever capacity possible. If they need someone to teach the kids one night, I'll do it. If Bishop asks me to sing, I'll sing. If they need me to record the phone greeting for the church, that's what I'll do. God has me here as a single woman who doesn't have the restraints that a family can bring, so my life is for ministry, not for serving my needs.
I am by no means suggesting that I have this humility thing figured out. Because I know the pride and self-indulging nature that lives in me. I am learning, growing, and continually doing everything I can to live in love with my Creator. The standard I want to be set this year is that I will be faithful to God, serving him, making myself available to him in whatever capacity, even if it's not necessarily something that I want...because my life is not my own. I pray that my mouth will not speak humility when my day-to-day actions reveal that I have no consideration for other people. One of the scariest sins is pride that thinks it is humility.
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